Dan’s Victory

October 28, 2009, Wednesday

I have found out more information about my treatment coming up next week.
First of all, it will take about 4 hours each day Monday through Thursday. Maybe you noticed it is not starting on Tuesday but has been changed to start on Monday.

On Monday before treatment starts at 9 a.m,, I will be seeing Dr. McCroskey at 8 a.m. I’m only guessing, but any bets they will take blood samples then as well? On Tuesday I will only be getting the 4 hour treatment (infusion) starting at 10:30 a.m, On Wednesday it will start at 9 a.m and on Thursday it will also start at 9 a.m. The person who called me said to be sure to bring things like a nice warm blanket, a pillow (I will be in a chair that lays back pretty good), something to read or keep you busy and be comfortable for 4 hours.

I was also told (and asked for the spelling of each) drug that was included in the treatment. From what I understood Ireta, the schedular at the clinic, to say was it would include velcade, cisplatin, adriamycin, cytoxan, and etopside (VP16). I asked about revlimid and she said that was an oral drug I will be taking. I wasn’t sure, and didn’t think to ask, but it seems like that is what they will give me the following 3 weeks. I’m not sure of that completely, but the others are all infusion drugs and the revlimid is an oral pill (which I have had previously - that’s why I’m thinking it would be what I take when not in the clinic. She also said that next week on Monday I would be coming in for velcade (which is what I have been doing every other week as an infusion already).

And then I will go through the same things again after the three weeks as I am going to be doing on Monday.

I was told I will get a complete schedule when I come in on Monday.

Had a bit of a negative mood this morning thinking about going through this as I am wondering if I will again be extremely tired and feel very weak, spending a lot of time sleeping, lose my ability to taste things correctly. If I will again get a rash. If I will be intense and not nice to be around again, as Dr. McCroskey said the treatment will include decadron (dexamethasone) again which is a steroid. He has already given me a prescription that is supposed to counter that. But then I believe we tried that previously, and it made me real tired and feeling groggy and brain dead. I guess that is better than not being very nice to Jane as a result of the dexamethasone by itself.  Of course, most of the time she will be at school teaching - which is good! The one person I don’t want to treat poorly is my wife. She has been so very supportive and understanding and loving, but wrong words can really hurt. I seem to have trouble keeping my tongue under control - talk too much, and say hurtful things - believing those things have to be said. Not good! Lord, help me!

I did get past that negative thinking quite quickly this morning and again remembered that God is in control, and He will not put me through more than I can handle - or Jane either. So as usual, the flesh wants to go negative, my spirit through the power of the Spirit of God needs to take control and stay positive! Inch by inch, step by step, brick by brick; as my brother, Dick, kept telling me four years ago (Oct 2005) when this all started. Maybe go sideways on occasion, but never backward!!!

So for those of you who wanted more detail. That is what I know for know!

I know you will be praying and that means a lot to me.

Dan

Oct 20, 2009 - Oct 27, 2009; Tuesday - Tuesday

I haven’t kept day-by-day record as most things went pretty good all week. Praise the Lord Jesus!

My shoulders are progressively doing better. I am able to do more at the fitness center (things like treadmill etc. don’t work for me yet - anyway I have one at home, anything where I have to push or pull straight over-head and, of course heavy weights I have to avoid. Some, but not much problem with the gas build up - but then again I don’t walk fast or job or run. The last two I haven’t done since October 2005! By back does get sore and ache - that hasn’t changed much. Can tell when I lean over or sit very long that I am still somewhat anemic, as I things start blacking out - but just start not any more. Of course, I stand still until it clears up. I am sleeping well pretty much through the night - maybe once having to use the bathroom at night. Not really very active yet, but trying to do a little more weekly. So overall I am feeling pretty good.

Saw my doctor on Monday and the new treatment was changed to next week starting Tuesday. I will be an out-patient or I may even be treated at the clinic where my doctor is rather than the hospital for the infusions I will be getting. I forgot to ask if I could drive or how long each day the treatment would last. I need to remember to ask that on Monday. I did find out that I should expect it to be kind of hard on me - and I will have to avoid people again for a while. I will have to ask how much he is talking about. But my defenses will be way down again. After those four days I will be on a lighter dose of Revlimid for three weeks, and then go through the same 4 days as I will go through next week. So you know what to pray for. Better many praying than just my family and me - and I know you do - just a reminder of what to pray about.

My daughter, Dawn, has made arrangements to be here on Monday afternoon or evening, so she can take me to either the clinic or hospital and stay with me while I go through my first day and then bring me back home. My father-in-law (dad) said he can transport me whenever I need. So I will have to find out if I will be allowed to drive or not.

Jane is doing pretty good with all of this - it is not new to her, but she said she was awake last night quite a bit thinking about it. So, please, pray for her as well.

Thank you and may God richly bless you as you serve Him.

DAN

A Boy Singing to his little sister……

You are My Sunshine, My only Sunshine’

Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3-year-old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling.

They found out that the new baby was going be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sang to his sister in mommy’s tummy. He was building a bond of love with his little sister before he even met her.

The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen, an active member of the Panther Creek United Methodist Church in Morristown , Tennessee. In time, the labor pains came. Soon it was every five minutes, every three, every minute. But serious complications arose during delivery and Karen found herself in hours of labor.

Would a C-section be required? Finally, after a long struggle, Michael’s little sister was born. But she was in very serious condition. With a siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushed the infant to the neonatal intensive care unit at St. Mary’s Hospital, Knoxville, Tennessee. The days inched by. The little girl got worse. The pediatrician had to tell the parents there is very little hope. Be prepared for the worst.

Karen and her husband contacted a local cemetery about a burial plot. They had fixed up a special room in their house for their new baby but now they found themselves having to plan for a funeral. Michael, however, kept begging his parents to let him see his sister. I want to sing to her, he kept saying.

Week two in intensive care looked as if a funeral would come before the
week was over.

Michael kept nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are never allowed in Intensive Care. Karen decided to take Michael whether they liked it or not. If he didn’t see his sister right then, he may never see her alive. She dressed him in an oversized scrub suit and marched him into ICU. He looked like a walking laundry basket.

The head nurse recognized him as a child and bellowed, ‘Get that kid out of here now. No children are allowed.’

The mother rose up strong in Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glared steel-eyed right into the head nurse’s face, her lips a firm line. ‘He is not leaving until he sings to his sister’ she stated.

Then Karen towed Michael to his sister’s bedside. He gazed at the tiny infant losing the battle to live. After a moment, he began to sing. In the pure-hearted voice of a 3-year-old, Michael sang: ‘You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray.’
Instantly the baby girl seemed to respond. The pulse rate began to calm down and become steady. ‘Keep on singing, Michael,’ encouraged Karen with tears in her eyes..
‘You never know, dear, how much I love you, please don’t take my sunshine away.’

As Michael sang to his sister, the baby’s ragged, strained breathing became as smooth as a kitten’s purr. ‘Keep on singing, sweetheart.’

‘The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my
arms’ Michael’s little sister began to relax as rest, healing rest, seemed to sweep over her.

‘Keep on singing, Michael.’

Tears had now conquered the face of the bossy head nurse. Karen glowed.

‘You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Please don’t take my sunshine away.’

The next day…the very next day the little girl was well enough to go home.

Woman’s Day Magazine called it The Miracle of a Brother’s Song.

The medical staff just called it a miracle.

Karen called it a miracle of God’s love.

NEVER GIVE UP ON THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE. LOVE IS SO INCREDIBLY POWERFUL. A SONG CAN BE JUST AS MUCH OF A PRAYER TO THE LORD AS WORDS SPOKEN.

Oct. 13, 2009 Tuesday - Tuesday Oct 20

Tuesday -No nap today. Back got sorer as the day went by. While volunteering at TCAL it took me a long time - mind not working clearly. Very tired, and back achy still. Some questions about insurance again and bills from SCCA.

Wednesday - Got to visit a friend from church who is fighting cancer in his neck and can eat little because his salivary glands are not working. Was able to show him some exercises that may help him, especially when it is raining and he can’t go outside to walk. Felt pretty good today.

Thursday - Got mixed up a some today. Forgot the chemo appointment, but remembered in time to get there in the afternoon. One of the nurses said she was worried about me, thinking I might be sick or hospitalized. She was real sweet! Made dinner on time. Then home group - Jane did remind me not to talk too much, which happens after I get the steroid along with the chemo. She said I did well.

Friday - Another confusing day! Four times or more I started driving to one place and part or most of the way there remembered I was going to the wrong place and had to turn around and go to the right place. Had some real trouble with excessive gas again and had to walk extremely slow and ended up throwing up. Did get the chores done - dust floor, vacuum rugs and carpets, wash and dry clothes and cleaned the 1/2 bathroom. Got real tired in the afternoon, but no time to nap. Took Jane out to dinner even so. Had to walk very, very, very slow. It was a good dinner though.

Saturday - Was able to sleep in late. Did some things for Jane and some other chores before Dave and Phyllis come tomorrow. Did that all in the morning and then spent the afternoon watching football, reading mail and e-mail, drying and folding the clothes. Jane made dinner! That was nice! Got a letter responding to the second appeal: insurance will pay for the last 40 days of medical housing in Seattle!! Praise the Lord!

Sunday - Kind of tired today. Still have sinus infection gunk, especially when I lay down. So the morning is a challenge to get it all out. Shoulders doing better, slowly. Fitness Center okay if I only go once or twice in the week. Dave and Phyllis got here about 4 pm. Jane made the dinner. Had a good evening with them playing cards (Dave and I lost!).

Monday - Pretty good night sleep. Dave went with me to the doctor appointment. Was able to introduce him to the doctor and a few of the nurses. They have wanted to meet him and finally got to! Doctor let me know what his plan is. I did have a choice but he was not really wanting to do the first because it would mean strong does of Revlamid, which he knows causes my skin a lot of trouble. That would have taken place in Seattle. So he suggested his preference, of having intensive chemo here at Good Samaritan Hospital in Puyallup. I will be there next Tuesday through Friday taking a low does of Revlamid and some other things which I have a recording of, but isn’t important right now. I believe, but will ask again, the reason I have to stay at the hospital is because of my kidneys, which we know are operating at 40%. So, at least right now, that is the plan for next week. Anyway, when Dave and I got home I made corn bread for lunch which really was yucky. Made some mistakes in making it. Tasted terrible. Dave, Phyllis, and I tried eating it, but threw the rest of it away - to the birds outside. It was a pretty good day. Did take about a two hour nap. I make the evening meal - with some help right at the end. Hard for me to prepare 4 things at the same time. They left to go back to Battle Ground at 7 p.m.

Tuesday - Good night sleep, but still had to sleep in “the boy’s room” as I didn’t want to keep Jane awake if the gunk caused me to keep her awake. Kept busy today - worked at church for an hour-and-a-half, fitness center, bank, auto store for air and oil filter, Safeway, nap, made dinner. Felt pretty good all day. Some pain from some of the usual places (back, ribs, shoulders), but can live with that. No trouble with gas today! That’s good. God is good!

Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’

The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.’

Interesting that God’s Word says this over and over again in different words. Will you serve God and if not, who will you serve? You always have a choice to follow God’s will which is always good, or the temptations of the devil which will always turn on you to be bad? It is your choice. The fruit of the Spirit or the works of the flesh?

DAN

October 12, 2009, Monday

I bit of a more difficult week. Have gotten a sinus infection so that makes it difficult to sleep, and work out, etc. Was able to do some fishing with by oldest brother, Randy. Didn’t catch anything, but saw some jumping very close to us!!

Saw Dr. McCroskey today and he has talked to the long-term doctor at SSCA and to Dr. Bensinger at SCCA through whom I tried a research study thing a year-a-half years ago — who is a friend of his and a well know oncologist there. Anyway they are going to be discussing what they need to do next, as there seems to be some concern that what they are doing now isn’t working as expected. It might be another clinical research study using Revlamid (which caused skin problems for me at the end of last year), or something else that would involve taking the chemo I am now taking once every two weeks and doing it every week. They are going to have more discussion before they decide - but Dr. McCroskey said it isn’t a big rush.

Doctor said I have a low red blood cell count - anemic. Later this week if it still is the case, it sounds like I’ll get another shot to try and boost the count. No wonder I have been feeling more tired (along with the sinus infection) and also light headed when I stand up quickly or things like that.

Please pray that God directs the doctors and heals me! I am in His hands!

DAN

The purpose of saving grace and apostleship is that we would be obedient to the faith that saves us. I am one hundred percent convinced that faith, biblical faith, is a combination of believing, trusting, and obeying; not just anything, but Christ and Christ alone. When we follow this equation we are, “obedient to the faith.” The purpose of grace is that God would grant us His unmerited favor, the favor that empowers and equips. Likewise, the purpose of apostleship is to show us the way to this faith. An apostle, by definition, is one sent forth with power to establish God’s government in a local New Testament church. The key to understanding grace and faith is the phrase, “through Him.” When we come to the saving knowledge of Christ, we do so by His favor and mercy. He gives us a measure of faith and graces us to believe. There is nothing in us worthy of salvation. There is nothing in us the impresses God other than the presence of His Son. “By grace you have been saved” (Eph. 2:5)
(from The Sonrise Daily Devotional Bible: Success for the Day, Rest Through the Night.)

Sept. 29 - Oct, 5, 2009 Tuesday - Monday

This time I didn’t keep a day to day record, and I probably should!
Tuesday I did get to church early and was able to help Loretta (our office manager) with some computer work. Felt pretty good and got a good nap too. Wednesday was, if I remember correctly, a good day. I can’t remember if I went to the fitness center on Tuesday or Wednesday, but I think I did one of those two days. Thursday I had velcade (chemo) and decadron (steroid). I almost had to have a shot again to get the red blood cell level up (anemic), but it wasn’t quite at the point where insurance would pay for it, so they didn’t give it to me. So apparently it was kind of the boarder-line. I was able to sleep pretty good that night because I took a RiteAid brand of Tylenol PM. It worked pretty good! So I slept pretty good. Thursday afternoon I had a bit of trouble because of the chemo. It caused tiredness and hard stomach gas that had a hard time coming up. That stayed with me all day and much of Friday night — not good! Also I had a problem with diarrhea, but by mid- Saturday that was back to “normal.”Oh, Home Group was very good dealing with what the Bible says about angels on Thursday evening. Friday I did the usual chores at home, and slept a little for a nap. When Jane got home we had Taco Bell salads, went to a wedding of a couple in our church, then we drove to Vancouver to spend some time with Dawn, Michael, Danica, and Hannah. Usually the second day after chemo is more difficult and it was. Still the gas, tiredness, but still had a good time with their family — our family! Came back Sunday, early afternoon, so Jane could get last minute stuff done for school. Today, Monday, saw doctor McCroskey. He is wanting the cancer count to drop and I told him that at SCCA they had told me to be patient because this was going to take a while. He has called them since then to see what they think about the suggestion that Dr. Bensinger (one of the doctors at SCCA that McCroskey knows well - but who is no longer familiar with my case) what he would suggest. So I’ll find out next week if there is a new plan or whatever. So pray for God to give them wisdom and that they would listen! Consideration is being given to increasing the present chemo or switch to Revlimid at a lower dose than previously when it gave me itch, rash, chemical burn and had to stop using it. God’s will be done! Him I can trust!

Have wonderful week serving Jesus!

DAN

Acts 28:30-31 “Paul dwelt two whole years in his own rented house, and received all who came in him, preaching the kingdom of God and teaching the things which concern the Lord Jesus Christ with all confidence, no one forbidding him.”
We need to understand that Paul was under house arrest. He was a prisoner of Rome. Nevertheless, he found this favor. It is amazing how God can take the most difficult of situations and truly work them to His glory and our good. Paul did not put his focus on getting out of his situation. He focused on taking advantage of his situation. We may, more than often, be missing the blessings of the Lord by attempting to pray and ask the Lord if our present situation is meant for good or are we to attempt to change it.
(from The Sonrise Daily Devotional Bible: Success for the Day, Rest Through the Night.)