January 20, 2010, Wednesday
I’m in my second day of 3-4 hour infusion of chemo. Yesterday that meant velcade, cisplatin, adriamycin, cytoxan, etopside, dexamethasone, and some fluid (sodim chloride). Until Saturday I am also taking 10 mg. of Revlimid every other day. I was again advised by mu oncologist to take 1 tablet of Lorazepam which would calm down the intensity that dexamethasone causes. It worked very well last night as I took it a dinner time so it would have time to work through the night. Today I need to see it the intensity is causing any stupidity on my part with my comments and stuff about Jane. That is usually how it comes out and neither she nor I need that kind of intensity!!
Today I did not get the Velcade, although next week I will get just that on Tuesday and Thursday.
I did have a great night of sleep last night which I didn’t particularly have the night before because it took much longer than expected to smoke some salmon (with brining and smoking over 9 hours and hadn’t started until the afternoon — oops! I have a charcoal smoker which has a pan of water you are suppose to use, but after three attempts over the last few years of it not drying out as it should, I will not be including that pay of water between the coals and the fish. It keeps the fish too moist even after 5 hours of smoking. But I did come up with a way of saving the salmon. I took it off the smoker and put it in my dehydrator. I used a little too much heat and tried it out too much as I kept it going the rest of the night. But I am learning!! That is always good!
So far I have had little negative reaction to the chemo. treatments. I did feel a bit tired this morning, but I think that was from the Lorazepam that keeps me from getting too intense. I did also have to slow down my walking speed a little bit. I can feel that usually within the first 4 or 5 steps (I start feeling a gas build-up in my stomach that will cause intense pain and then hard belching; but if I listen to God and my body I seem to be able avoid that by slowing down before it takes hold),and when I am getting out of a chair or off the floor too fast in getting light headed. I can usually tell when the intensity is at least mild as I write too much and talk to much!
So I will stop here and let you know sooner than next week how things are going.
I love you all and thank you for your continued prayers.
One more thing - I have a friend at church who has asked me if there is anything he can do to help me around my home. I have been answering him “No, it is winter with nothing to do outside.” He had a very disappointed look on his face. He really wants to help me. Then God reminded my that after the wind storms we have had I do have a lot of branches, large and small, that need to be picked up and either cut or put through the chipper I have. When I told him that he was almost gleeful, got a huge smile on his face and is anxious, very anxious to have the opportunity to help! What a joy that is to me!
DAN
Lucky
Mary and her husband Jim had a dog named ‘Lucky.’ Lucky was a real character. Whenever Mary and Jim had company come for a weekend visit they would warn their friends to not leave their luggage open because Lucky would help himself to whatever struck his fancy. Inevitably, someone would forget and something would come up missing.
Mary or Jim would go to Lucky’s toy box in the basement and there the treasure would be, amid all of Lucky’s other favorite toys. Lucky always stashed his finds in his toy box and he was very particular that his toys stay in the box.
It happened that Mary found out she had breast cancer. Something told her she was going to die of this disease….in fact, she was just sure it was fatal.
She scheduled the double mastectomy, fear riding her shoulders. The night before she was to go to the hospital she cuddled with Lucky. A thought struck her…what would happen to Lucky? Although the three-year-old dog liked Jim, he was Mary’s dog through and through. If I die, Lucky will be abandoned, Mary thought. He won’t understand that I didn’t want to leave him. The thought made her sadder than thinking of her own death.
The double mastectomy was harder on Mary than her doctors had anticipated and Mary was hospitalized for over two weeks. Jim took Lucky for his evening walk faithfully, but the little dog just drooped, whining and miserable.
Finally the day came for Mary to leave the hospital. When she arrived home, Mary was so exhausted she couldn’t even make it up the steps to her bedroom. Jim made his wife comfortable on the couch and left her to nap. Lucky stood watching Mary but he didn’t come to her when she called. It made Mary sad but sleep soon overcame her and she dozed.
When Mary woke for a second she couldn’t understand what was wrong. She couldn’t move her head and her body felt heavy and hot. But panic soon gave way to laughter when Mary realized the problem. She was covered, literally blanketed, with every treasure Lucky owned! While she had slept, the sorrowing dog had made trip after trip to the basement bringing his beloved mistress all his favorite things in life. He had covered her with his love.
Mary forgot about dying. Instead she and Lucky began living again, walking further and further together every day. It’s been 12 years now and Mary is still cancer-free. Lu cky? He still steals treasures and stashes them in his toy box but Mary remains his greatest treasure.
Remember….live every day to the fullest. Each minute is a blessing from God. And never forget….the people who make a difference in our lives are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards They are the ones that care for us.
If you see someone without a smile today give them one of yours! Live simply. Love seriously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God