Dan’s Victory

August 9, 2010 - Wednesday

I did it again - haven’t kept you up-to-date. Sorry! So this will be kind of long and somewhat detailed.

THERE HAVE BEEN SOME UPS AND DOWNS, BUT NOTHING I WOULD CONSIDER TOO SERIOUS - JANE WOULD MAYBE. TODAY I SAW THE DOCTOR AND MY RED, WHITE, AND PLATELETS COUNTS ARE ALL UP MORE THAN THEY HAVE FOR A VERY LONG TIME. I AM STILL NOT GOING TO BE PUT ON ANY CHEMO EXCEPT THE DEXAMETHASONE (A STEROID)) WHICH I HAD BEEN ON, THEN TAKEN OFF AFTER THE APRIL TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL, THEN PUT BACK ON JULY 6. I HAVE DONE FINE WITH IT. I HAVE NOT YET BEEN PUT BACK ON REVLIMID OR HAD VELCADE INFUSIONS SINCE THE APRIL HOSPITAL VISIT.
I HAD A COUPLE CHANGES IN MEDICATION FROM DAPSON TO BACTIM. ALSO I HAD STARTED TAKING TWICE AS MUCH VALTREX SINCE JULY 14. SINCE THEN I HAVE HAD MUCH LESS PROBLEMS WITH THE HURTING BELCHING GAS AND CAN NOW WALK PRETTY MUCH AT A NORMAL PACE. THAT SURE IS NICE! THANK YOU, LORD JESUS!

ALTHOUGH OCCASIONALLY I HAVE FELT KIND OF FATIGUED, I FOUND OUT THAT I MAY JUST NEED A NAP, OR I MAY HAVE A JUMP IN TEMPERATURE. THE JUMP IN TEMPERATURE HAPPENED AGAIN JULY 7. JANE AND I WERE ABLE TO GO BRIEFLY TO HER BROTHER’S LAKESIDE CABIN, BUT MY TEMPERATURE JUMPED AGAIN.WHEN WE RETURNED - THIS TIME WHEN IT GOT TO 101 DEGREES JANE CALLED THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE AND THEY TRANSFERRED TO THE HOSPITAL AND WE WERE TOLD TO COME IN. I HAVE THERE FROM THE NIGHT OF JULY 7 AND GOT OUT JULY 9. THIS TIME IS WAS “ALPHA HEMOLYTIC STREPTOCOCCI” BACTERIA. SO I WAS INITIALLY HAD INFUSION OF SOMETHING TO KNOCK IT OUT AS WELL AS GIVEN FLUIDS FROM A BAG (I WAS DEHYDRATED - GUESS I HAVE TO DRINK MORE WATER. ACTUALLY I FELT PRETTY GOOD THE DAY AFTER I WAS PUT IN THE HOSPITAL, BUT THEN THEIR AIR CONDITIONING GOT TO ME AND THE DAY I LEFT I STARTED HAVING CONGESTION IN MY SINUSES ETC. - WHICH HAS HAPPENED TO ME FOR YEARS FROM AIR CONDITIONING! BUT I GOT TO GO HOME ANYWAY! YES!
I WAS PUT ON A PRESCRIPTION IN PILL FORM FOR A WEEK OR SO TO BE SURE THE BACTERIAL INFECTION WAS GONE - WHICH WORKED WELL.

MY SON, MARK, CAME FROM TAIWAN TO VISIT FOR TWO WEEKS. WE WERE ABLE TO GO FISHING ON A STREAM NORTH OF PACKWOOD AND STAY IN A CABIN THERE FOR A FEW DAYS - AND GO FISHING! WE ALL HAD A GOOD TIME. JANE ENJOYS THE TIME AT THE CABIN WHILE MARK AND I FISHED. MARK CAUGHT HIS LIMIT BOTH DAYS - I DID THE SECOND DAY. LOTS OF FUN!

MARK HAD BEEN TOLD OF A CHURCH IN REDDING, CALIFORNAI THAT HAS A VERY STRONG HEALING MINISTRY - BETHEL CHURCH. HE HAD ASKED IF IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR US TO GO THERE (FOR MY SAKE) WELL BEFORE HE CAME FROM TAIWAN. SO ON A FRIDAY MORNING THE THREE OF US WENT TO REDDING; ENJOYED A WONDERFUL WORSHIP SERVICE ON FRIDAY EVENING; WENT TO THEIR PRAYER GATHERING ( A TIME OF WAITING IN A ROOM WITH A WORSHIP BAND PLAYING, SOME OF THEIR CHURCH MEMBERS PRAYING AND ENCOURAGING WHILE WE WAITED TO GO TO ANOTHER ROOM WHERE TWO WITH HEALING MINISTRY PRAYED FOR EACH PERSON. IN THE WAITING ROOM THERE WERE WELL OVER 50 - 70 PEOPLE THAT CAME FOR PRAYER. SO I WAS PRAYED FOR AND GIVEN A COUPLE WORDS OF KNOWLEDGE OR PICTURE VISIONS, WHICH WERE VERY HELPFUL. ONE HAD TO DO WITH “HOPE’ AND ANOTHER WITH CONCERNING MY CHARACTER - TRUST IN THE LORD ETC. THEY DID NOT KNOW ME, BUT IT WAS ACCURATE WORDS. GOD DIDN’T IMMEDIATELY HEAL ME, BUT TODAY THINGS ARE LOOKING UP AND DOING MUCH BETTER.

ANYWAY WE AGAIN WERE IN OUR CAR AIR CONDITIONING ON THE 10 HOUR DRIVE THERE, IN THE HOTEL WHERE WE STAYED OVER NIGHT AND IN CHURCH FRIDAY EVENING AND SATURDAY MORNING AND ON THE 10 HOUR DRIVE HOME. AGAIN IT AFFECTED ME AND I HAVE BEEN CONGESTED SINCE THEN. THE LORD KNOWS ALL ABOUT THAT, AND SO WE HAVE NEVER HAD AIR CONDITIONING IN OUR HOME AND IT NEVER GETS HOT WITH ALL THE TALL FIR TREES AROUND OUR HOUSE AND OUR NEW WINDOWS.

THEN WE WERE ABLE TO GO TO OUR YEARLY  FAMILY BEACH CAMPING REUNION AT CAPE DISAPPOINTMENT, WASHINGTON (SOUTH OF LONG BEACH, WASHINGTON. MARK WAS ABLE TO DO REAL WELL - AS HE USUALLY DOES - FISHING OFF THE ROCKS AT THE NORTH END OF THAT STATE PARK BEACH AND GOT ENOUGH FOR ALL OF US TO EAT POGIES (OCEAN PERCH) FOR ONE DINNER, AND GIVE SOME TO EACH OF MY BROTHERS FAMILIES TO TAKE HOME. HE SURE ENJOYED THAT!

I HAD BEEN FEELING FATIGUED AGAIN SO WENT TO BE AT 7:30 PM ON SUNDAY AND SLEPT THROUGH UNTIL 7 A.M.!!! ON MONDAY. EVENING I STARTED FEELING FATIGUED AGAIN AND THOUGHT MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE MY TEMPERATURE. THIS TIME IT WAS 1JUST OVER 101 DEGREES AND I DIDN’T TELL JANE EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS - BUT DID TELL HER AN HOUR OR SO LATER WHEN IT WAS 100.9 OR SO. BUT AGAIN A GOOD NIGHT SLEEP TOOK CARE OF IF AGAIN AND MY TEMPERATURE WAS BACK TO NORMAL (97.6) THE NEXT MORNING! MY WHITE BLOOD CELLS AT WORK AGAIN!

SAW MY DOCTOR TODAY AND MY BLOOD COUNTS HAVE GONE UP EVEN MORE - DIDN’T GET THE SHEET TO TELL ME THE EXACT NUMBERS. I HAD A COUPLE BLOOD TESTS TO SEE IF A COUPLE OTHER THINGS MIGHT BE CAUSING SOME OF THE LOW COUNTS, BUT THEY HAD ALL TURNED OUT GOOD - I DIDN’T HAVE WHAT THEY THOUGHT MIGHT CAUSE IT. DOCTOR IS HAPPY WITH HOW THINGS ARE GOING NOW. THE MULTIPLE MYELOMA HAS GONE UP JUST A VERY LITTLE  (MONOGLOMAL - M BAND - PROTEIN) MAY 2.8 AND JULY 3.1. ALSO MY DOCTOR IS GOING TO START HAVING ME BE GIVING A MONTHLY A 2 1/2 HOUR INFUSION OF SOMETHING THAT STARTS WITH “GAMOGR..” AND I CAN’T READ THE REST OF MY WRITING - BUT IT IS A NORMAL ANTIBODY SINCE MY BODY PUTS OUT AN ABNORMAL ANTIBODY. SO WE’LL SEE WHAT THAT DOES.

WELL, I CAUGHT YOU UP WITH ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED TO DATE!!!  AND SINCE ALL IS GOING WELL WE WILL DO A LITTLE VACATIONING TO MY BROTHER’S IN LA PINE, OREGON (SOUTH OF BEND, OREGON), AND THEN TO OKLAHOMA CITY TO SPEND TIME WITH OUR YOUNGEST SON AND FAMILY.

GOD WILL TOUCH YOUR LIFE IF YOU ASK HIM TO - HE LOVES YOU VERY MUCH. GIVING HIS SON, JESUS, IS MORE THAN ENOUGH PROOF!

DAN

GOD’S ROSEBUD

It is only a tiny rosebud,

A flower of God’s design;

But I cannot unfold the petals

With these clumsy hands of mine.

The secret of unfolding flowers

Is not known to such as I.

GOD opens this flower so easily,

But in my hands they die.

If I cannot unfold a rosebud,

This flower of God’s design,

Then how can I have the wisdom

To unfold this life of mine?

So I’ll trust in God for leading

Each moment of my day.

I will look to God for guidance ?In each step of the way.

The path that lies before me,

Only my Lord knows.

I’ll trust God to unfold the moments,

Just as He unfolds the rose.

07/12/2010 - Monday

I t has been a very interesting week. Since I blogged last not very much had happened. Things were going well and some of the gas problem had seemed to go away, although I still can’t walk fast without getting that belching gas that can result in throwing up.

This past week on Wednesday Jane and I had been at her brother’s lake home and had a good day as he and his wife were there too. He took us out on his boat to show us the lake. No fishing although I hoped for that the next day. But we decided we needed to go home early. That night about 8 pm I felt very, very fatigued, and got to shaking-shivering. That lasted for almost two hours. In the mean time we took my temperature and steadily it went up (usually I am about 97.7 or so) from 99 to over 101. I also was becoming somewhat confused, and had a headache. We called my oncologist’s office and the call was transferred to the hospital. They told us that I should come in to emergency. (My oncologist had told us the last time this happened not to wait until it reaches 104, but call if it gets to 101.) We arrived there at 10 pm. By then the shakes had stopped, but the temperature - while at the hospital went up to 102.6. While I was in emergency they took my vitals, took a chest  x-ray, and a blood sample. At 3 a.m. I was placed in “my” room on the oncology floor. Although I was awakened by nurses about every hour and they had hooked up fluid, as I was also dehydrated, but I felt really good in the morning and my temperature had returned to 97+. But they needed to find out what had caused it. My doctor came in at 8 a.m. and said the chest x-rays were clear and all was okay with them. They were still waiting for the blood sample results to come in. So I stayed there in the hospital. It was 90 degrees outside and a clear blue sky - not often does that happen in Washington State. Later in the day I was informed that a had a bacterial infection (alpha hemolytic streptococci), and the computer gave the doctor what antibiotic I needed. I spent the rest of the day and all night getting the antibiotic infused as well as more fluid. Boy, does that make a person go to the bathroom a lot - and disrupt one’s sleep. As well, the nurse came in often and the fluid machine beeped often as the infusion bags ran out of what was in them and needed to be replaced. A crummy night of sleep - or little to no sleep! I also woke up with a headache and I was getting stuffed up. That typically happens when I am in air-conditioning too long of a period of time. But my doctor came in and said the antibiotic could be given in pill form (cefpodoxime), so by 10 a.m. I got to go home. Of course, my wife spent much of the day before with me (Thursday visiting with me in the hospital), and came and got me on Thursday. It was great to be home and not have to stay in the hospital. I was still stuffed up that day and still am - this being Monday. Even so I have been able to get some things done in the yard, garden, and flower beds.

Have you ever backed up in a parking lot and looked both ways and again looked and as you turned your head - while backing up slowly - to look forward to where you were going to be driven — and back into something. I did it! A car behind me and one space to the side was backing up too and neither one saw the other. Both of us had the same damage to the back bumper on the side of the cars! So now we have our car in the garage being fixed. First accident I have been in since we lived in California - over 24 years ago!

Oh, pray for my lower lip to heal before tomorrow - fever blisters - for what I am not sure.

I will be seeing the doctor tomorrow for the regular weekly check-up - and also an infusion of zometa for bone development.

Expect to give you good news the next blog!

Dan

Shoes in church??I showered and shaved………….. I adjusted my tie.
I got there and sat………….. In a pew just in time. ?Bowing my head in prayer……… As I closed my eyes.. ?I saw the shoe of the man next to me….. Touching my own. I sighed. ?With plenty of room on either side…… I thought, ‘Why must ?our soles touch?’ ?It bothered me, his shoe touching mine… But it didn’t bother him much. ?A prayer began: ‘Our Father’…………. I thought, ‘This man with the
shoes, has no pride. They’re dusty, worn, and scratched. Even worse,
there are holes on the side!’ ?’Thank You for blessings,’ the prayer went on. ?The shoe man said…………… A quiet ‘Amen.’ ?I tried to focus on the prayer……. But my thoughts were on his shoes ?again.?Aren’t we supposed to look our best. When walking through that door? ?’Well, this certainly isn’t it,’ I thought, Glancing toward the floor.. ?Then the prayer was ended……….. And the songs of praise began. ?The shoe man was certainly loud….. Sounding proud as he sang. ?His voice lifted the rafters…….. His hands were raised high. ?The Lord could surely hear. The shoe man’s voice from the sky.. ?It was time for the offering…… And what I threw in was steep. ?I watched as the shoe man reached…. Into his pockets so deep. ?I saw what was pulled out………… What the shoe man put in. ?Then I heard a soft ‘clink’ . As when silver hits tin.?The sermon really bored me…………. To tears, and that’s no lie. ?It was the same for the shoe man…. For tears fell from his eyes. ?At the end of the service…… As is the custom here. ?We must greet new visitors, And show them all good cheer. ?But I felt moved somehow………….. And wanted to meet the shoe man. ?So after the closing prayer…….. I reached over and shook his hand.?He was old and his skin was dark…. And his hair was truly a mess. ?But I thanked him for coming……… For being our guest. ?He said, ‘My names’ Charlie……….. I’m glad to meet you, my ?friend.’ There were tears in his eyes…….. But he had a large, wide grin. ?’Let me explain,’ he said………. Wiping tears from his eyes. ?’I've been coming here for months…. And you’re the first to say ‘Hi.” ?’I know that my appearance…………’Is not like all the rest. ?’But I really do try……………..’To always look my best.’ ?’I always clean and polish my shoes..’Before my very long walk. ?’But by the time I get here……….’They’re dirty and dusty, like ?chalk.’ My heart filled with pain………. And I swallowed to hide my tears. ?As he continued to apologize……….. For daring to sit so near ?He said, ‘When I get here…………..’I know I must look a sight. ?’But I thought if I could touch you..’Then maybe our souls might unite.’ I ?was silent for a moment……….. Knowing whatever was said ?Would pale in comparison… I spoke from my heart, not my head. ?’Oh, you’ve touched me,’ I said……’And taught me, in part; ?’That the best of any man…………….’Is what is found in his heart’ ?The rest, I thought,………………… This shoe man will never know. ?Like just how thankful I really am… That his dirty old shoe touched my soul ?You are special to me and you have made a difference in my life. ?I respect you, and truly cherish you. ??Let old friends know you haven’t forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. ?Remember, everyone needs a friend.. ?Someday you might feel like you have no friends at all. ?Just remember this e-mail and take comfort in knowing that Someone out there cares about you….. And always will.     ?  Live each day as your last, it could be!!!!!

06/08/2010 Tuesday

A lot going on as of today!
I’ve been seeing my oncologist every week since I was in the hospital April 15th when my temperature had jumped to 103.4 when it was determined that I had the CMV virus. They then put me on a medication to get rid that virus which did get rid of the virus, but also caused my blood counts to drop. They have been down ever since. And again this week the blood counts are down. My oncologist is trying to determine why they are still down as I am not taking any medication that might cause that. So another week I am not on any chemo except dexamethasone once a week.

Although the counts are below the low range the white blood cell count is higher than it has been for a month. But the red blood cell count is the lowest it has been in over a month. The doctor is going to wait another week to see what happens. Then he could have me get another transfusion, but wants to try a medication spelled “arithropoieton” which helps the kidneys make more red blood cells, but doesn’t help the platelets which also needs to be brought up. (It is the same as it was last week - 44 with the low range being 150).

On Thursday I will be having another bone marrow biopsy. My doctor wants to make sure the multiple myeloma is not continueing to get worse. A biopsy in February had shown 7% multiple myeloma and the biopsy taken in the middle of May in Seattle (Seattle Cancer Care Alliance) for the one year tests showed it was at 14%. He is particularly concerned because I can’t have the chemo therapy I would usually have been taken (every other week Velcade infusion and daily Revlimid) because of the low blood counts which should control or decrease the cancer count.

Also my doctor is sending me to a dermatologist to remove two spots on my head which he is sure are not cancerous, but feels they need to be removed. (They feel like scabs to me that aren’t going away.)

Something new which I had asked my doctor about months ago is a supplement called resveratrol which Denmark researchers have shown to kill the cancer cells of multiple myeloma and triggers the regrowth of new bone (multiple myeloma breaks down bone - like the vertebrae in my back which is still in danger according to the tests at SCCA).

So that is the doctor news as of today!

I am really glad I have an oncologist who tells me the way things are. I know the source of my strength, by attitude, and my hope is in Jesus. God is good and gracious, merciful and mighty! I am in His hands! So although the low blood counts make me feel tired, I still get to work out in the garden and lawn, and look forward to my wife retiring in another week and so have a lot more time with her — which also means we can do a lot together any time we want — like visit our kids and grandkids and do other stuff whenever we want.

God is good and always will be!

Dan

Two Stories!

AIN’T

He was just a little boy,
On a week’s first day.
Wandering home from Bible school,
And dawdling on the way.

He scuffed his shoes into the grass;
He even found a caterpillar.
He found a fluffy milkweed pod,
And blew out all the ‘filler.’

A bird’s nest in a tree overhead,
So wisely placed up so high.
Was just another wonder,
That caught his eager eye.

A neighbor watched his zig zag course,
And hailed him from the lawn;
Asked him where he’d been that day
And what was going on.

‘I’ve been to Bible School ,’
He said and turned a piece of sod..
He picked up a wiggly worm replying,
‘I’ve learned a lot about God.’

‘M’m very fine way,’ the neighbor said,
‘for a boy to spend his time.’
‘If you’ll tell me where God is,
I’ll give you a brand new dime.’

Quick as a flash the answer came!
Nor were his accents faint.
‘I’ll give you a dollar, Mister,
If you can tell me where God ain’t…’

It’s one of those weeks when everybody seems depressed. Rain has been drizzling and pouring for five days straight (too many April showers). Bad news is all over the TV: a slumping economy, a virus going around, too much work for everybody. The convenience store clerk is frowning and distracted. The doctor’s receptionist is irritable. My daughter is impossible. And I long to talk to someone who’s openly, sincerely upbeat.
Some days it really does seem as if someone has thrown a wet blanket over the whole world. Whether its one person’s attitude or some sort of general malaise, times like that are murder to get through.
So how do we get through them? To a certain extent, of course, we need to just grit our teeth and hang on. Chances are the rain will eventually stop, people will get well, the economy will swing the other way, our hormone level will change.
But things don’t always get better. Floods, depressions, wars, and epidemics really happen. Relationships sour. People turn on each other. Institutions fall apart. So I’m wary of depending too much on “the sun will come out tomorrow.” Probably it will. But what if it doesn’t?
I think Jesus had a much more realistic and workable approach “In the world you will have tribulation,” He warned, “but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). If we depend entirely on the world around us to bring us happiness and fulfillment, we’ll be at the mercy of gray days and sour circumstances and the cataclysms of history.

Time to add to my how things are going for me.
Last week I drove back and forth from here (Tacoma) to SCCA (Seattle Cancer Care Alliance) for the one year follow-up.
Monday - registration; blood draw - 16 viles; urine sample; start of 24 hour and three stool swatches at home (yuck); tests and photos to see if there was any evidence of  Graft vs. Host (GVH) Disease; and a bone marrow biopsy (marrow, bone, and skin samples).
Tuesday - Axial Skeleton (x-rayed my upper and lower arms and legs, hips, chest, neck) and an MRI of kidneys and liver, and an osteosurbey study (bone density).
Wesnesday - An oral exam of my teeth, gums and the inside of my mouth, and a pulmonary function test - different tests to check the health of my lungs,
Thursday - I was suppose to get some vaccines (as the chemo and radiation last year wipped out everything that the vaccines I had shot in my a year after my original stem cell transplant in June 2006), but my white blood cell counts were to low to do that at this time. Then I had a conference with the doctor and nurse about test result and I was suppose to see the pharmacist but that didn’t happen either.
Friday - I had to see University of Washington Eye Institute doctor to check my eyes.

So the result were kind of a long list - I recorded it all so I could write it all out later.
The bone marrow had grown a small amount (I hadn’t been on chemo for three weeks!) to 14% which was 6% in February
The MRI showed a new small lession at the bottom of my pelvis.
The beta 2 myenoglobulins (sp) was the same as previously.
The kymerism (Dick’s stem cells) have are now at 87% and 76% in the marrow itself
My iron is a little more than normal but not the bad (was told to keep takeing the multiple vitamin without iron_
I have no GVH (Graft vs. Host disease) which could have happened having put Dick’s stem cells in me.
The skin biopsy was fine.
The liver function test was good.
The creatnin level was 1.4 which is good but a little elevated.
The pulminary function tests (lungs) were all better than in August.
The dexascan showed a little bone loss and calcium, exercise and zometa will help that.
Cholesteral is fine.
Blood pressure is fine.
Sugar level is fine.
Thyroid function is fine.
The protate is fine.
Stool sample showed no evidence of cancer in the digestive tract.
The kidneys are slightly abnormal but fine.
The CMV is no longer in my syste (It was the cause of the 103.4 temperature jump that I was hospitalized for 3 days a few weeks ago.)
I will not be having the donor (Dick) lymphocyte done because that would give me a 20 - 30% chance of getting the Graft vs. Host Disease, and then I would have to fight two things instead of just the one (multiple myeloma). But at the same time will probably not get totally rid of the multiple myeloma without it with current therapies available.
I also asked about the gas burping difficulty I have had pretty much since all of this started and they don’t have any idea what is causing it. At least they are honest about it. They said I come from a weird family - I have this and Dick had problems after donating the stem cells and the shots necessary to do it of a lot of pain from areas that had previously been injured in sports. It took a few months to get rid of it. That they have never heard of either.

Well, quit a long list here, but those of you who are doctors and nurses this is probably the kind of thing you like hearing - and the rest of us don’t quite get it all!

Have a wonderful week - what is left of it anyway.

God richly bless this wonderful day You have made for all who read this!

Dan

DEVOTIONS FROM BESIDE STILL WATERS A DEVOTIONAL

Want to see a teacher explode?
Just try making a remark about working “only” six hours a day” or “only” nine months a year. If you are not injured, you’ll be quickly enlightened about what happens behind the scenes of the teaching profession — curriculum development, lesson preparation, conferences, grading, curriculum development, and much more.
Of course, that is true of almost any pursuit; a large portion of the work goes on behind the scenes. Behind every corporate report lurk weeks of research, writing, and empty in the coffeepot in the middle of the night. Behind every speech hide hours of scribbling, editing, and even declaiming before the mirror. Behind every clean house kneels a householder with a vacuum cleaner and a bottle of all-purpose cleaner.
It’s a mistake to assume that the only work that counts in work that is immediately visible. But I think I do that a lot with God. Either consciously or unconsciously, I evaluate God’s work in my life according to whether I can see progress or feel His presence. If I can’t, I often assume He’s not on the job.
But there’s so much about God’s work I can’t see — at least not until later. What feels like intense conflict may be His preparation for a new era in my life. What feels like spiritual dryness may be His strategy for drawing me close to Him. Ordinary events may actually be a series of sacred opportunities that I’’m too dull to perceive. In other words, I often can’t see what God is doing in my life — but that doesn’t mean nothing’s happening!
And I know all that — so why can’t I remember it?

Tuesday - April 20,2010

Okay - the latest update since I saw the doctor yesterday.
CMV virus test results were negative - That’s good!
My right eye has been blood shot for a while (Jane says 2 months or more). I don’t think you, but….   Doc said I may want to see an eye doctor.
Still have some coughing/throat tickle.
Fever blisters on my lip are gone.
Won’t be taking the chemos for another week - velcade, revlimid, dexamethasone.
Told doc my mouth and gums were real sensitive - he said it is Thrush and gave me a prescription for it (fluconisal).
Blood counts were good and not so good: red blood 3.15 (normal 4.24-5.70), white blood cells 5.5 (normal 4.3-11.0), platelets 66 (normal 150-450). It is the low platelets that caused him to keep me off chemo for another week when I have another appointment.
Had infusion of  zometa today - bone builder.
I dropped some weight - 150 lbs dressed/no shoes

Still took time to shop groceries today, volunteer some time at church, and plant yellow potatoes. Took a nap while getting the infusion of zometa, and 20 minute nap at home before making dinner for Jane and me.

Monday I took a nap from 4-5 pm which didn’t help me getting tired to go to bed at 9:30 p.m. So had trouble going to sleep last night. Got up at 12 midnight and worked on bill stuff etc. until 1:30 a.m. and then went back to bed and slept well until 5:50 a.m when Jane got up. Am tired this evening so expect to sleep better.

Having gotten in infusion of zometa my back gets to aching - which it is, but expect to sleep well anyway!!

An interesting week so far!! Inch by inch, step by step. Once in a while a sideways step but never backward!

Dan

Lessons of Life
There was an Apache man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge
things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at
a pear tree that was a great distance away.

The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in
summer, and the youngest son in the fall.
When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe
what they had seen.
The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.
The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so
sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with
fruit, full of life and fulfillment.
The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they
had each seen but only one season in the tree’s life.
He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season,
and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that
come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons
are fulfilled.
If you give up when it’s winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the
beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.
Moral of the Lesson
Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of the rest.
Don’t judge life by one difficult season.
Persevere through the difficult patches knowing that
better times are sure to come some time
Aspire to Inspire Before You Expire!
Live Simply.
Love Generously.
Care Deeply.
Speak Kindly.
Leave the Rest to God.
Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keep You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,

But Only God keeps You Going!

Tuesday-Wednesday 4/13/2010 - 4/14/2010

Pray as you have and keep it up.

Was feeling weak on Sunday and then again on Monday. Was chilly much of the time but then nights I would wake (somewhere between 12:00 midnight and 3 am)  sweating. Was really tired and some tough phlem of the yellow kind in my sinuses and throat and probably my lungs - especially when lying down. Sunday I had been very, very tired. And on Monday I got some things taken care of slowly and felt like most of the day was kind of a waste. I had flushed cheeks and ears too - but not my forehead. I had gotten kind of cold too. Monday evening Jane said I really looked flushed and not good. So she took my temperature - and it was 103.4. An hour later it was 102.4. So under my wife’s insistence I called my oncologist’s office and was directed to Dr. Blau - Jane’s oncologist - and told her my situation. She said to come to the hospital immediately. So I was hospitalized but the room wasn’t quite ready. So by 11 pm I was in the hospital bed. I was reminded that one of the worst things with someone who has multiple myeloma is a fever. This morning I had a chest x-ray, a CT exam (particularly of my kidneys). The temperature has gone down, but I am still tired - but laying on my butt and back all day does not inspire my body to feel like it wants to do much else. Don’t know any results of the tests. I started the red blood cell transfusion, I think, about 7 pm or later and was doing that well into my going to sleep here for the night.

Wednesday

All the tests turned out good. Dr. McCroskey wanted some more blood samples to check something else - I guess. It looks like I am going to be checked out late this afternoon or this evening. So I have been trying to keep busy all day here again. It is such a pretty day outside - and I have missed the wonderful weather by being inside. I won’t be taking any kind of chemo pills or infusions until after I see Dr. McCroskey on Monday.

Keep praying. I have developed a little thing in the roof of my mouth that the nurse says looks like a blister. So I need that to go away and obviously no more high temperatures.

God is good. No matter what it looks like stand strong and be confident in the Lord.

Dan

They’ve been married forty years this spring. Overall, it’s been a fruitful union — two kids, three grandkids, a sizable contingent of friends and colleagues, and a slate of satisfying accomplishments. Despite nagging worries about health and kids and retirement, they’re more or less content — and proud of themselves for coming this far.
But the fight they had this week was the same fight they’ve had off and on since the week after their wedding.
She likes to talk.
He doesn’t.
She gets her feelings hurt.
He feels pressured.
Both get irritated. Sparks fly.
Yes, they’ve changed over the years. Circumstances have changed them. In some ways, they’ve worked at changing. Certainly they’ve adapted to each other and learned to work through problems. But even now there are issues they have never resolved. For the most part, they’ve learned to just accept — but not always.
In a sense, it’s a little depressing. Surely after all those years, they would have put those problems to bed. But in another sense, they give me hope that it’s possible to persist and forgive and keep hoping even when some issues resist resolution. They remind me that it’s possible to live a satisfying, full live even with unresolved problems and unresolved conflicts.
How else can we flawed human beings hope to live together?

(from  BESIDE STILL WATERS A DEVOTIONAL)

April 10, 2010 - Saturday

Thought I had better tell those who read this how things are going.
Jane and I were able to spend a week at an Oregon coast cabin for a week by the kindness of the owners. We invited my younger brother and his wife to spend of few of those days with us there. We had a wonderful time. Before they came it rained, and rained and the wind howled, and foam blew up the cliff the cabin sits on, but we didn’t care. We had the opportunity to relax and read - and no TV and no computer! It was great. Then the days that my brother and his wife were with us it was great weather for this time of year. We were able to comb a couple beaches and shop and play cards. The girls whipped us!
Although I generally had to have an early afternoon nap because of my tiredness, all went well. I realized how little I have been able to walk, and especially up or down stairs - in our case trails down to the beach and back up again. Some really great clam fossils were found and some pretty rocks.
I will be seeing the doctor on Tuesday, as a regular check-up with the usual blood samples and infusion of velcade (a chemo). Probably won’t have anything to indicate the myeloma count at this time, however.
Keep praying! God answers prayer!

Dan

SPECIAL GROCERY LIST ??Louise Redden, a poorly dressed lady with a look of defeat on her face, walked into a grocery store. She approached the owner of the store in a most humble manner and asked if he would let her charge a few groceries.
She softly explained that her husband was very ill and unable to work, they had seven children and they needed food. John Longhouse, the grocer, scoffed at her and requested that she leave his store at once.
Visualizing the family needs, she said: ‘Please, sir! I will bring you the money just as soon as I can.’ John told her he could not give her credit, since she did not have a charge account at his store.
Standing beside the counter was a customer who overheard the conversation between the two. The customer walked forward and told the grocer that he would stand good for whatever she needed for her family.  The grocer said in a very reluctant voice, ‘Do you have a grocery list?’
Louise replied, ‘Yes sir.’ ‘O.K’ he said, ‘put your grocery list on the scales and whatever your grocery list weighs, I will give you that amount in groceries.’ Louise hesitated a moment with a bowed head, then she reached into her purse and took out a piece of paper and scribbled something on it. She then laid the piece of paper on the scale carefully with her head still bowed.
The eyes of the grocer and the customer showed amazement when the scales went down and stayed down. The grocer, staring at the scales, turned slowly to the customer and said begrudgingly, ‘I can’t believe it.’
The customer smiled and the grocer started putting the groceries on the other side of the scales. The scale did not balance so he continued to put more and more groceries on them until the scales would hold no more. The grocer stood there in utter disgust. Finally, he grabbed the piece of paper from the scales and looked at it with greater amazement.
It was not a grocery list, it was a prayer, which said:
‘Dear Lord, you know my needs and I am leaving this in your hands.’
The grocer gave her the groceries that he had gathered and stood in stunned silence. Louise thanked him and left the store.  The other customer handed a fifty-dollar bill to the grocer and said; ‘It was worth every penny of it. Only God knows how much a prayer weighs.’

March 21, 2010

Another good week!
Doctor McCroskey says everything is going well - blood counts up. Zometa to build the bone once a month. Velcade every other week - chemo by infusion to get more of the multiple myeloma down. 10 mg. of Revlimid daily instead of 5 mg. to help more with getting rid of the myeloma. Also I am to go in weekly for blood draws, so they can keep a close look at the numbers. I see the doc now every three weeks.  The zometa does cause some rib and back bone pain for about three days - but it has always done that, so that is something I knew was probably going to happen. I am getting a little better again at naps! And sleeping well during the night also! Well, today I didn’t take a nap; does that count against me?

God sure is good isn’t He!!!

Dan

IS GOD DANCING ON YOUR POTATO CHIPS?

Not too long ago I had “one of those days.” I was feeling pressure from a writing deadline. I had company arriving in a couple of days and the toilet was clogged. I went to the bank, and the trainee-teller processing my deposit had to start over three times. I swung by the supermarket to pick up a few things and the lines were serpentine. By the time I got home, I was frazzled, sweaty and in a hurry to get something on the table for dinner.

Deciding on Campbell ’s Cream of Mushroom soup, I grabbed a can opener to crank open the can, then remembered I had forgotten to buy milk at the store.  Nix the soup idea.  Setting the can aside, I went to Plan B which was leftover baked beans. I grabbed the Tupperware container from the fridge, popped the seal, took a look and groaned. My husband isn’t a picky eater
but even he won’t eat baked beans that look like caterpillars.

Really frustrated now, I decided on a menu that promised to be as foolproof as it is nutrition-free: hot dogs and potato chips. Retrieving a brand new bag of chips from the cupboard, I grabbed the cellophane and gave a hearty
pull. The bag didn’t open. I tried again as nothing happened. I took a breath, doubled my muscle and gave the bag a hearty wrestle. With a loud pop, the cellophane suddenly gave way, ripping wide from top to bottom. Chips flew sky high . I was left holding the bag which now was empty.

It was the final straw. I let out a blood curdling scream. “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!”

My husband heard my unorthodox cry for help. Within minutes he was standing at the doorway to the kitchen where he surveyed the damage: an opened can of soup, melting groceries, moldy baked beans and one quivering wife standing ankle-deep in potato chips. My husband did the most helpful thing he could think of at the moment. He took a flying leap, landing
flat-footed in the pile of chips. And then he began to stomp, dance and twirl ~~ grinding those chips into my linoleum in the process!

I stared and I fumed. Pretty soon I was working to stifle a smile. Eventually I had to laugh. And finally I decided to join him. I too took a leap onto the chips and then I danced.

Now I’ll be the first to admit that my husband’s response wasn’t the one I was looking for. But the truth is it was exactly what I needed.  I didn’t need a cleanup crew as much as I needed an attitude adjustment and the laughter from that rather funky moment provided just that.

Now I have a question for you and it’s simply this: Has God ever stomped on your chips? I know in my life, there have been plenty of times when I’ve gotten myself into frustrating situations and I’ve cried out for help, all the while hoping God would show up with a celestial broom and clean up the mess.

What often happens instead is that God dances on my chips, answering my prayer in a completely different manner than I had expected, but in the manner that is best for me after all. Sometimes I can see right away that God’s response was the best one after all. Sometimes I have to wait weeks or months before I begin to understand how and why God answered a particular
prayer the way he did. There are even some situations that, years later I’m still trying to understand. I figure God will fill me in sooner or later, either this side of Heaven or beyond.

Do I trust Him? Even when he’s answering my prayers in a way that is completely different from my expectations? Even when he’s dancing and stomping instead of sweeping and mopping? Can I embrace what He’s offering? Can I let His joy adjust my attitude? Am I going to stand on the sidelines and sulk or am I willing to learn the steps of the dance he’s dancin’ with my needs in mind? I’ll be honest with you: Sometimes I sulk. Sometimes I dance. I’m working on doing more of the latter than the former. I guess the older I get the more I realize that He really does know what He’s doing. He loves me and I can trust Him even when the chips are down.

– Author Unknown

All is going well. I little side effects from the dexamethasone I am taking again - but I get used to it. It slows me down because of the stomach - belching gas it give me - and rather suddenly. Looks like this coming week I will be going back to some zometa for my bones and some velcage - an additional kind of chemo I have had before maybe rather than going to the four day, four different chemos for four hours those four days.

Have been able to do more - have helped out supervising recess a couple days at Jane’s school as the usual people have had to be at meetings.

Love you all,

DAN

The following is self explanitory:

Michael L. Brown Answering Jewish Objections to Jesus

Being of Jewish heritage his father tried to show him by taking him to a community of ultra-Orthodox Jews in Brooklyn that he was wrong turning to Christianity. He had done some deep study and confirmed that Jesus is the Messiah of Israel. His need for understanding Hebrew and to understand and test the messianic promises led him to years of education leading him to a master’s and doctorate in Near East Languages and Literature. In the last 30 years he had debated and dialogued with rabbis and leaders in the Jewish community on radio, television, college campuses, and even in synagogues. He has taught at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, Fuller Theological Seminary, Regent University and in twenty-five countries; authored eighteen books, written a commentary on the book of Jeremiah and much more. In an interview with Lee Srobel in the book The Case for the Real Jesus: A Journalist Investgates Current Attacks on the Identity of Christ, Brown was asked by Lee “And what about for you, personally?…Who’s the real Jesus to you?” Here was his answer!

“Yeshua is the right continuation of my Jewish roots,” Brown said. “He’s the Messiah of Israel and the savior of the world. He’s the one to whom I owe my life, and through him I’ve come to know God. He is the one who provided me complete forgiveness of sins, who loved me when I was a miserable, ungrateful, rebellious, proud wretch. He put a new heart and a new spirit within me; he has turned my life around and given it meaning. He’s the fullness of God in bodily form. He’s the very expression and image of the Father — in seeing him, I see the know God.

“And he’s the only hope of the world. Outside of him, all we see is darkness. He’s the hope of Israel. Israel. Israel will run out of options and finally in the end recognize that the one that it thought was the source of all its pain and suffering through the years actually is its only hope.

“He’s the beginning and end the all in all. I cannot imagine existence outside of him. I cannot imagine truth outside of him. I can’t imagine purpose in life outside of him. so really his is the ultimate expression of God to the human race. That’s why I’m spending my life talking to Jewish people — as compassionately and accurately as I can — about the reality of Jesus the Messiah.

“I just can’t withhold God’s very best from those he dearly loves.”

I HOPE THIS TOUCHED YOUR HEART AS IT DID MINE!

March 9, 2010, Tuesday

What wonderful news! Although the red blood count is a little down from the last time (carrying oxygen), the white blood cell count (immunity) was in the normal range, and the platelets (What do platelets do?) was also in the normal range!!!

I also got the result of the bone marrow biopsy. The previous one I had was in August in Seattle which showed that the plasma in the bone marrow was 20% multiple myeloma cancer; this one in March was 7%!!!!!!!!!!

Doctor is talking about having the stem cell transplant from my brother, Dick, after the count gets below 5% - whenever that happens.

Have been feeling pretty good. A little tired but that would be the red blood cell count being down. Have been able to mow the lawn (riding the mower is not a problem) and I am wearing a mask (Randy gave me - my oldest brother) that filters out gases even. I had raked up fir cones and put them in the wheel barrow - three loads, before that. Also put down moss killer. Last week I put some moss killer on the roof and then was told that Tide with bleach will kill the moss. So I did that also - last week - and it appears to have worked. Am learning, most of the time, to take a nap sometime during the day. Continue to make dinners Monday - Thursdays so Jane doesn’t have to.

Looks like on occasion I will go to Jane’s school to help out with recess - parents aren’t volunteering and sometimes the teachers don’t get any break at all because administrator who usually help have to be at meetings. I know I have to be careful with children - but this is outside and that should help! Don’t know how often this will happen - am trying it out tomorrow.

God is good!

Dan

It’s the one complaint guaranteed to raise my hackles:
“But I can’t . . . “
“I can’t draw.”
“I can’t sing.”
“I can’t do math.”
Whether it comes from adult or child, I bristle when I hear it. And I hate to have to say it! I was raised to be a “can do” kind of person. Deep down, I’m convinced I can do anything if I put my mind to it. Having to say “I can’t” smells like failure to me. It feels humiliating.
And it is true that “I can’t” easily becomes a self-fulfilling , self-limiting prophecy. (As my grandfather used to say, why would you want to prove yourself wrong?) I’ve seen people robbed of joy in whole categories of life because they told themselves “I can’t.” Sometimes “I can’t” really means “I’m afraid to try,” and it gets in the way of growth.
But I’m gradually learning (the hard way) that “can do” can be as damaging as “I can’t.” Maybe I really can do anything if I”m willing to make the tradeoffs. But the tradeoffs are significant, and in many cases the payoffs are just not worth it. I am a human being — subject to the limitations of talent and time and choices made. That means that in many situations, learning to say an honest “I can’t” is not a form of self-sabotage but a necessary lesson in humility. Very often when I accept that I can’t, I find that God can use my limitations to reveal His power through those circumstances.
To rephrase the famous Serenity Prayer: Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t . . . The courage to do the things I can . . . And the wisdom to know the difference.
DEVOTIONS FROM BESIDE STILL WATERS A DEVOTIONAL